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Name: Pulsed
Country: Malaysia
State: Kota Kinabalu
Birthday: 12/17/1982


Interests: serving God.computers.movies.books.lazing around.sports..bBall,badminton.snooker.
Expertise: none.nuff said~


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Member Since: 2/10/2004

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Sunday, February 15, 2004

im gonna move my blog site to http://pulsed.weblogs.us. so do check out the site at that location.so theres not gonna be updates here.im in the mid process of moving my blog, trying to export my blogs to my new site.


Saturday, February 14, 2004

its been a long dat today.had practices for a dance were going to perform for a rally today.the rally's gonna be on the 21st Feb.its gonna be a great event to win ppl for christ.also today had to call up some colleges to inform this on the event.hehe.had to be like so super polite wen talking to those ppl frm other colleges.and it can be hard at times wen u need to repeat wat u say over and over again.oh well good experience.at the same time was pondering on the thought of life in college and how it felt to be far but not too far from home.the longiness is there and the desperation to be home close to all ur friends.things were much easier back then.any time of the day can just look for my frenz and hang out up till any time of the day.mayb our lives do revolve around our frenz.is there really anybody who can be alone without any close friends at all.i wonder at times.wat keeps a person going at times other than Jesus of coz.where does the support and the push to keep that person going.living far frm home made me realize a lot of things.especially how much my frenz to me and also my parents no doubt.the food was prepared on the table each day,not enuf 'makan' can just go get another meal.but here in college,things were not dat simple.there are budgets to keep and make sure dat i cant eat too much or else ill have to fast for the next day.there are times where i cant be quite hungry at nite trying to rush after completing my assg.but hard to 'tahan' the hunger.and food is just a small part.wat bout laundry,i could just throw it aside and it would be cleaned for me.in college,if i dun wash my clothes for the week it would come to haunt me at the end of the week.imagine not having any clothes to wear n having to wear back ur dirty clothes.these are simple simple things which remind me so much of my home.how i really missed home.there mite be compensation u say,wif all the new frenz u gain around u.but there is rarely a time where one can actually get a fren who is true and dear to u in skool.someone u can really count on.someone who can someone lit ur day when ur lights are out and just know dat ur there.its not and ez process building up frenship back here and still having to keep up wif frenz back home.there r times i wonder,how long can this strain go on.somehow not being wif ur frenz back home,i feel something amiss.the laughter dat we share,the cries of pain dat we feel and the shouts of angers dat we fling at each other.all these throughout the years made our bond of friendship so much stronger and so much more meaningful.to knw for a fact dat if at this moment i were to be in deep trouble,like my life was at risk.i knw for sure these frenz would rush to my aid quickly.and the thought of being far apart.it makes it so much harder wen all i could do is msg them,close at heart yet far from sight.scared of losing the bond dat we have build up after so many yrs.at the sacrifice of those long years of frenship were to be replaced by new friends found here.is dat even possible.i think not.to be in the midst of so many new friends,the thought of having to find someone u can really count on admist the many number of friends i have made is not ez.the effort needed to actually keep in touch wif all of them,bcoz i wan to know all of them personally but dat is like so hard.choices have to b made,n somehow i feel bad neglecting friends that i have just made and not being able to take out the xtra time to talk to them or to even chat wif them.but i guess ill have to live wif that for the couple of years im going to be here away frm home.oh well gottta live wif dat.and why oh why stupid telekom has to make telephone costs so xpensive.make me d so much harder to call ppl back home,esp wen im a college student with super limited expense at hand.just calling a minute takes up a couple of ringgit not to mention a couple of minute cant even finish saying wat has happen for the day..being here made me realize i missed out so many things wen i am not there and the thoughts of things that i din get to do.its like im lying on the last few days of my life not being able to move and regretting every single mintues wasted not doing something fulfilling.i just want to go back every single holiday.but the thought of having to leave again makes my heart so much more heavier and i would rather be not going back and not knowing wat has happened.rather than to know on things i have missed out.every single time going back has added an extra pound to the luggage on my heart and its getting overweight.ohh how i was i was home yet not at home.ive got so much more on my mind.yet i think this is all i will type for now.


Thursday, February 12, 2004

its currently 9:30am and i just finished a winNT test.din really got a chance to study on it.i think i faired quite well tho,den decided to go lab and surf the net for a while.i was going thru "The Star" online and was reading the first page news for the day.Here's the link to the article i was reading. http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2004/2/12/nation/7299865&sec=nation .
It kind of shocked me the reality of all of this kind of brutality is actually coming to realisation bit by bit without our notice or is it.Just a couple of weeks ago the top stories in the newspaper were about innnocent kids being brutallised and raped.i say to wat extent is dat of a human mentality dat could twist and deform to such a mental state.i believe for example this case that the ppl who did the brutal act at that particular moment of time practically lost all sense of humanity in them.i dun think they were even thinking and could perhaps have regretted their actions.
after dat wat was next.murder.imagine dat.all these happening rite before eyes, wat is the driving force behind all the mad men running amok around us.most of these ppl who committed these crimes i believe once had a sane mind but then.wat changed?wat pushed them to that extent that they would condone to such actions.this is definitely times of desperate needs which call for desperate measures.wat den can we do?as for me i think prayer is one of the current things that i could do at hand.
ok i was surfing thru and i have partial of the story:
http://202.186.86.35/news/story.asp?file=/2004/2/2/nation/7227366&newspage=Search
take a look if u havent read the story yet.and if u really havent.im shocked at that too.such a big news.reminds us of reading more.ok end now.rushing off the lab is being used..sigh~~


its 2am in the morning and im still not asleep.wat am i to do.i just had another long and hectic day.must say dat activities do liven a person up or do they?felling kind of burnout rite now.kind of blanked minded in the sense.had like an early morning test.which i barely had the chance to study for that matter.went on to have like an 8 hr grueling session of lectures which nonetheless sad to say not very efficient time usage of me.fell asleep couple of times in class.bummer.den rite after dat had like my christian fellowship meeting.kind of dragged a bit to go,but its a commitment to make so i went.we had a Ps. Joyce from a local church to come by to speak.was bout revival in the land.it was not too bad as a matter of fact.kinda blank rite now on the topic.hey cant blame me rite,dat goes to show dat im just like ur normal coffee joe.and i cant just barely take bout 8-10hrs of lecture.dats seriously bad for my current mental state of mind.i have like half the wits to whack anybody dat comes near me and irritate me.looking at the amount of rants ive been making i have a feeling im growing to a certain level of old'ness.something which i do not in particular am happy about.tmrw another day full of adventure in a days life of a college student.the challenges to come.oh my...egad...geee whiz...hehe.


Tuesday, February 10, 2004

im like super exhausted rite now.but den again i decided to try out this blog site.for once finally giving in to automated blog sessions.well i dun think i have much to write for my first blog.kind of like out of ideas.todays been like 10hrs straight for me without any break.had dinner also like sienz so im like gonna waste some like lots of space here typing like lots of things which like wouldnt produce a result which would be like in the sense acceptable in any manner possible.but if uve gotten to reading up till here.ill stop for now.in the end i dun have anything much to write anyway for now.oh yea since im on it anyway.thought i mite recommend u guys out there a good book.shown below here.u mite be able to provoke ur thoughts here and there.kinda inspiring too.currently like only on day9.can get it frm salvation or canaanland.current price i heard was like only rm21.50,good buy.
Currently Reading
The Purpose-Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For?
By Rick Warren
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